LateNiteLights.

So I graduate in May(May 8th,2010 to be exact..send gifts). Whatever. I talk about that enough on and offline.

But in a discussion about life @ ODU , I said something Monarchs say a lot...

"I'm just bored."

But I followed it with "I'm too old for what college entails nowadays. It's time for me to leave...none of this interests me anymore."

"You feel that way because...this is it. Get a degree...and...done!"

That kinda got to me. Made me think about some things that maybe I'd prefer not to."Is this really...it?" Do I just get a degree then go make something of myself? Do I just go to grad school...knowing deep down in my heart I don't want to @ this point??

These were old emotions that were previously confronted. I felt trapped in a way. Do i just go through the education ranks until something clicks? Do I kill myself at school only to end up in a career I don't really love?

These things only became an issue because I wasn't following my heart. I was far more interested in "playing it safe" then letting my soul guide me to the next step. The only reason I played it so safe and close to the chest isn't because I felt it was right...it was because I was afraid. I didn't want to embarass myself in anything I did. I was too used to be good to above avg in everything. I'd rather have my mental scoreboard looking more LA Lakers than Minnesota Timberwolves (and I'm a fan...SMH!)..


When this conversation ensued , I was already on the path of opening up and just freeing myself of anything that bothered me. You...don't know how crazy said path has been. From about November 2009 to right now I've just approached life differently. Part of it is because I know this undergrad thing is totally over soon. The other and much more important part is that as a man, I owe it to myself to identify and address my shortcomings.


To be honest, a majority of my issues and hang ups are due to things I didn't say or didn't do...because I was scared. Being told that our age group sees getting a degree as the Gold medal in the Early 20's marathon kicked that back off. So , since this talk (and somewhat before it) I've been just...doing what I feel I must. I don't hurt anyone or step on anyone's toes ; I just no longer cheat myself. In my mind, I feel like I give off more positive energy than ever, because I'm totally cool with who I am.


Seeing this video also didn't hurt.

It hit me. All I needed to do was...dance. I got too entrapped in what I believed life to be due to my experiences. I was just going through life in such a linear fashion that my unhappiness was predictable. So ...now I'm hearing the music and dancing where I see fit...